communication difficulties

Roomie 1's Mom: Just call me on your brother's cell when you land

Roomie 1: I dont think I have his number anymore

Roomie 1's mom: It is real easy. If you know your father's number you know your brothers. Your father's number is 0925 and your brother's is 0926.

Roomie 1: So...his cell is exactly the same as Dad's except for the last number?

Roomie 1's Mom: No. The area code is different and the first three numbers are different...

Roomie 1: So I still don't know his number then.

Roomie 1's Mom: *sigh*. Fine. I'll email the number to you.

Judge: Do you know what the most famous picture of George Washington is?

Roomie 1: Him chopping down a cherry tree?

I'm made of sugar too!

Boss: HA! It is going to get nice and cool just in time for you to leave and then it will heat up right when you get back. HA. That will teach you to take a vacation.

Roomie 1: Aha! It proves it! I AM a ray of sunshine! When i leave, the world gets a little colder.

Instant Messaging

Roomie 1: Update your blog!

Roomie 2: No.

Roomie 1: MIRA SOMETHING GUERTIN! Update your blog!

Roomie 2: It's Cathleen

You can keep it!

Roomie 1: You wouldn't happen to have some toilet paper in your purse that I may borrow, would you?

Roomie 2: Actually, Yes. But I don't want it back. You can just keep it.

now that is a good joke

I laughed so hard i farted

Movies

Roomie 1: (checking arm rests at movie theatre to see if they lift up) "Aww. We can't even cuddle!"