Clearly we are the great intellectuals of our time

Jacey: we missed our calling as evil genius and trusty henchman.

Lily: wait. why am i the henchman? i've got looser morals than you. i think i should get to be the evil genius

Jacey: i'm more calculating than you are.

Lily: i'm not really good at following directions

Jacey: think of it like I'm magneto and you're mystique. so you get to be rebecca romaine lettuce while i'm sir ian mckellan. i think you win this one.

Lily: LOL i love our debates

Jacey: i bend metal. you get to shape shift and do the actual dirty work. me too. clearly we are the great intellectuals of our time.

harry potter is EXACTLY like real life

Jacey: i live in my head and prophecy the apocolypse at every turn, it's part of my charm. i'm like sybil trelawney. i only see doom.

Lily: i think you are closer to professor snape than trelawney

Jacey: that's SO true.

Lily: no offense. but you aren't some damn hippie. you are more calculating and evil

Jacey: omg. snape. so effing bad ass. i am the fox/lion hybrid!

Lily: yeah! and under all that evil and mean, there was a decent guy

Jacey: yes!i am decent. AM.

Lily: LOL so i eat pie off of the floor and you are a decent person hiding under a cloak of evil...huh.

eating my emotions

I'm eating my emotions. They taste like cupcakes.

In a completely creepy friend way

Lily: i just had a call that made me nauseous and i honestly felt like i was dealing with the type of lawfirm that would kill people to win cases

Jacey: did you ask if they were hiring?

Lily: LOL. i'd have to live in seattle

Jacey: i'd come visit you at least once.

Lily: that is too far from you. and cold. if i have to move somewhere cold i'd move closer to you

Jacey: yea!!!

Lily: that sounded so lezzie

Jacey: i'm going to find you a job in my city so we can be closer.

Lily: i meant it in a completely creepy friend way

Jacey: i love you.

Lily: i love you too

Jacey: in a completely creepy friend way, not a lezzie way.

Lily: right. assumed.

Survival skills

Lily: PS i miss you! I had a dream that we were living in the Friends apartments. Only I was in Joeys and you were in Monicas. And there were no other friends.

Jacey: I'm probably Monica in our friendship, although i'd prefer to think of myself as Chandler.

Lily: Yeah. I think you are Monica. Am I Joey?

Jacey: You are definitely Joey. It is your lack of survival skills. You are not rachel because you are not helpless. You're not weird enough to be Phoebe. If you were Ross I wouldn't be your friend.

Lily: LOL

Jacey: I absolutely believe you would carry a fork in your pocket and eat pie that you found on the floor.

generation why bother

Lily: so i posted an article on the "generation why bother"and this girl is now telling me how i need to send that to her cousin because it is so pathetic that her couisn hates her job and won't quit because she just wants to keep her head down, collect her pay check and make ends meet...and how its so fucked up she doesn't care about succeeding anymore and has just given up...and i was like "you just described me. this is as successful as i'll ever get. i'm done. i just want to get out of debt. i no longer expect to be wealthy some day. or even comfortable. but i'll settle for not in the red."

Jacey: I am right there with you sister!

Lily: we are generation why bother. don't take risks. just be happy with the fact you have a job

Jacey: i feel like that's "generation accept your fate and stop indulging the fantasy that you are somehow special and destined for greatness."

Lily: you aren't going to be great. or special. or contribute in any meaningful way to humanity. you are not going to be in history books. or any books.

Jacey: unless you write one, which probably won't be published bc you're not as clever as your mom tells you you are.

Lily: right. also that takes time. which you don't have because you are too busy working and then drinking...or crying yourself to sleep on the couch...if you are lucky enough to have a couch.

Lily: unrelated. get draw something so we can draw hilarious things to each other all day long

Sexy GPS

Inspector: "wow, you're doing really awesome in the info department today. for that i give you a b+"

SJ: a b+! why a b+?

Inspector: well if you gave me all that info plus phone sex then you'd get an A+

SJ: (moaning) turn right on California Ave. (soft breathy voice) its the 3rd house on the left

Inspector: phone sexing driving directions is so not sexy. you can stop now.