Roomie: I"m so stressed out. I can't handle my life anymore. i need an assistant.
Friend: I"m declaring marshall law over your life.
Roomie: That seems legit.
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also known as: stupid stuff my unemployed friend and i say to each other across the 2000 mile abyss that so wrongly separates us my totally employed friend and I say during our endless text conversations we have while trying to do as little actual work as possible without getting fired
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