friend: friend, stop judging my friends.
roomie: touche
friend: haha. yes. you very much do need new friends. call "other friend," she's straight and non-homicidal.
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also known as: stupid stuff my unemployed friend and i say to each other across the 2000 mile abyss that so wrongly separates us my totally employed friend and I say during our endless text conversations we have while trying to do as little actual work as possible without getting fired
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