New Career Path

Roomie 1: I will apply to ICE (immigration cop) if you do...although I'd be the WORST ice cop EVER!  I'd be like "run forest, run!" as I trip my partner...

Friend: Haha. you'd be like, "look, I know you meant well pedro, so just just run!!!"

Roomie 1: Vamanos! Andale!  

Friend: And then I'd be like "look, jefe, if you don't habla my lingidy, that is not my fault, but if you try to vamanos, I will shoot you in the head."