Friend: I just called him a vagina. He's singing that song from the SPCA commercial.
Roomie: I just got busted by security. Dancing on the table again. He is a vag. a second that.
Friend: Trying to come up with a lesbian name for him. Thinking of roro, after rosie.
Roomie: Haha, Ellen!
Friend: Ooh. WEll, the unfortunate part of his being a lesbian is that it makes me the butch one. So i think he'd be portia.
Roomie: That's okay. Everyone knows ellen is more popular.
Friend: and a good dance. which is important. also more successful career wise, even though p's career started out better.
Roomie: But you will end up wildly more successful. Like giraffe money successful.
Friend: I could have a giraffe? I'd rather have a polar bear named urek, or really just a polar bear.
Roomie: Okay. Polar bear. But they bite.
Friend: I'll feed him criminals. And ugly shoes. And i won't try to hug him, even though i'll want to. Maybe when he's a cub we can snuggle a little.
Roomie: Feed him my nemesis. That will feed him for months! mmm, beefy!
Friend: First meal of human! and then all my enemies...
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