yeah, its just like that

Roomie 1: I love tanning in a tanning bed! It feels SOOO good but it is SOO bad for you! Just like boys and alcohol!

Flowers for Algernon

While roomie 1 and friend were running, a boy reached out to offer them flowers...

Friend: Sorry! I have allergies...(as she swerves to avoid the boy)

Roomie 1: I can't run AND hold flowers.... (as she also swerves to avoid the boy)

Google Earth

Roomie 1: I googled your house and noticed you have a pool. Mind if I come over and tan?

bike rides and kisses

Friend: Then of course you can hook up with him when he's done with the road race. (Note: use of phrase "hook up" was intentional.)

engagement!

Roomie 1: this getting a husband thing is soooo much easier than people say! All i had to do was tell you my criteria (i.e. rides a bike - isn't gross) and bam! ready made unknowing husband! yes!

criminal enterprise

Roomie 1: You are the best aider and abettor to cyberstalking EVER!!