Roomie 2 on trying to find dinner while lost on the American River bike trail:

"Do you know how hard it is to kill a squirrel with a CO2 cartridge?"

take that mother nature!

Roomie 1: FUCK YOU WIND! I will not give up. you may be stronger but i think you underestimate how stupid i really am.

wtf

Roomie 2: I"m going to go home and contemplate suicide

Roomie 1: Yay!

different approaches

Roomie 1: (to roomie 2) You are humming a lot lately.  I mean, not that it is a bad thing.  It is just that I am trying to find the will to live and you are humming.

Supportive Friends

Roomie 1 told Friend about how she set a PR in a 5k Race she ran over the weekend...

Friend: That's Awesome! and i hate you, Haha. i suck at running and i'm
getting fat. sad sad day for me, but awesome awesome day for you
speed racer

A Classic

While brainstorming how we can get a bookdeal by making our blog more interesting and prolific:

Roomie 1: Maybe we could start fabricating stoopid things we "said".