argumentative

Roomie 1: Lists are VERY important to proving points!

Nice to be needed

Roomie 1: I miss you. I really want a pickle and I cannot open the jar. When are you coming home?

Rainbows

Roomie 1: Um, if music were gay (even though we hate that expression) this would be gay music.

Roomie 2: This is the music you would listen to if you were gonna slide down the rainbow into another woman's lap?

Roomie 1: Yes, exactly.

heat stroke!

bikechick: are you ok?

roomie 1: I'm fine...I just want to curl up in the fetal position and vomit a little.

backhanded compliment

Roomie 1: and she's got awesome thighs. probably from all her whoring.

harry potter dreaming?

Friend (talking in sleep): ohmygod did someone just dissipate!!!????

test anxiety

Friend: dear whores outside my window celebrating, while i'm sure on some level i'm happy for you that you have finished law school, 99.8% of me hates you and wants to kill you right now. i'll give you a 30 second head start running, but prepare to die.

that bitch is everywhere!

Friend: I sold my chair. I'm waiting outside with it right now.

Roomie 1: Are the people coming over to pick it up?

Friend: No, I just thought i'd carry it downstairs and wait outside with it...

Roomie 1: (*sighing with her own stupidity)...Right...and then someone threw down a scrabble board and said "its on, bitch." right?

and some more dieting...

Friend: i'm totally rocking the food baby right now

More dieting

Roomie 1: I've got the little pudge sticking out over my bike shorts

friend: Sexay!

Roomie 1: my, uh, padding for if i crash..

friend: that's positive thinking

Roomie 1: i like to think of it as an air bag

Friend: Silver lining!

Dieting!

Roomie 1: I need some good fat pants...

Smart people

Roomie 2: Some girl just walked in with a box of raisins. I think she is going to do better than me. Raisins are for smart people.

competetive people

Friend: a stranger started a scrabble game with me.

Roomie 1: On scrabulous?

Friend: No. He came to my home.

Roomie 1: Well, I thought maybe at the coffee shop

Friend: Yes, someone sat at the table next to me, threw down a scrabble board and said, "it's on, bitch."