poop..you fail.

Roomie: I am so glad you are back. I haven't been able to talk about poop for like 2 weeks.

Friend: I was going to text you about a poop today but I am always afraid i'll send it to the wrong person.

Roomie: Whatever. Text away. I had a really small poop today. I was so disappointed.

Friend: I don't feel like everyone will be as interested in hearing how good i feel after my mid morning poop.

Roomie: I was like, "poop...you fail."

seriously. i don't even think you are trying to keep me alive

DC: FUCK thief just stole 62 pounds of food! we are now on meager rationsand ROOMIE is very hungry

Roomie: fucking theives...you can shoot a god damn buffalo but you can't hit a person? what type of wagon train leader are you?

Ladies, lets go to the market

DC: I"m out of money...

Roomie: Sell some of the buffalo meat. Or one of your daughters. Wait. I don't think this game lets you sell women. that's Grand Theft Auto I"m thinking of...

More Oregon Trail

DC: I"m playing Oregon Trail...and you are on my wagon. You better not die Bitch.

Roomie: Just don't ford the river.

....

DC: I just made a big mistake...

Roomie: You forded the river didnt you? Did you ford the river and kill me???

DC: I forded the river...

Roomie: and???

DC: Mrs. DC DIED!!!

Roomie: Oh thank god it wasn't me. I mean, really it was her fault for breaking her arm earlier in the game anyway.

DC: True...

Roomie: I told you not to ford the river...

Oregon Trail WILL NEVER GET OLD

DC: I just took the wrong trail and lost 3 days. FML. My wagon living life.

prom for grown ups

DC: Are you feeling better?

Roomie: i'm still tired lol. nothing but a nap will fix that...but i'm going out with the banker tonight. so i'll go home, walk and feed mello, go out and maybe if i'm super lucky and the banker is not, i'll be home by 10.

DC: HAHA why do you want to be back by 10?

Roomie: To Fucking Sleep!

DC: hahahahhahhhahhaa nice

Roomie: Dude. I was up for 21 hours and then got 3 hours of sleep. its like prom. only much worse. because i have to work. and there was no fancy dress. and nobody made me breakfst....so way worse than prom actually