how to NOT be supportive of your girlfriend

Lilly: i have akombucha bottle that wants to explode.. the carbon gas got too much. i tried to take the lid off but the pressure was too great and now it is making sounds. i put it in the trash can to absorb most of the explosion.

LBF: poor you living in constant fear of a carbonated drink thats just a terrible working environment

Lilly: you sound like you might be mocking me...it is hard to tell with your accent

Lilly: it is a GLASS bottle! i could be injured

LBF: WHAT??? I didn't know it was glass!!!

Lilly: I don't like the cut of your jib

LBF: GET OUT OF THERE!!!

Lilly: ok now i'm definitely sensing some snark

pretty people don't need skills

SJ tells roomie that Roomie looks good today.

Roomie: ok i feel much better now. i was having a rough start to my morning.

SJ: yeah looking that good can be troubling im sure

Roomie: no i mean work is going poorly but now that i'm pretty i don't need to be good at my job

Validate here

Lily: I just sent you two pictures of my new outfit that i'm wearing to work today. Please check your phone immediately and validate my self esteem.