pretty? or smart?

Guy: women are either pretty or smart. but never both.

Roomie 1: With the exception of me, of course.

Guy: Uh...what?

Roomie 1: Well, I mean, I have a law degree so i'm guessing i'm smart...

guy: Yeah...

roomie 1: So that means i'm not hot???

Guy: I didn't say that!

Roomie 1: But you said I could either be pretty or smart but not both...

Guy: Yes...

Roomie 1: *sigh*. Ok. I'm smart. damnit.

you have cable? lets get married

Friend: in other news, i may have invited myself to move in with Mr. Attorney after he told me that he installed an awesome sound system to go along with his home theater. All he needs is a pool and i'm filing domestic partnership papers.

fat guy in a little suit

Friend: I love how i'm sending my friend sara a message that i need to lose 500 pounds while i sit on the couch eating cake and being mad at the tv because it isn't working. And yes, I went to the store and bought a slice of cake after looking at the scale this morning and thinking "fat guy in a little coat!"

self esteem boosters

(the Roomies dressed up like princesses and rode their bikes in an effort to raise awareness about...um...women's biking and to encourage more women to bike...)

Roomies pass a group of men on the bike trail...

Roomie 2: Haha. You just got passed by a little girl in a tutu.

No love in wisconsin

Friend: where's the damn wooing in wisco?!!

need a partner?

roomie 1: Why do people always go into business with people they are afraid will kill them if they rat them out? I will only do business with people i can rat out.

celebrity role models

Roomie 1: So anytime I want a drink in the next few months, just show me that picture of Amy [winehouse].  I mean, she is skinny, which is awesome...but she looks like hell!  I'd rather be plump and hot.