Hint Hint.

Boy: (red eyed and pupils dialated, in out personal space, looking about 22) "How old are you?"

Roomie 1: 31 (the truth, hopefully scary to drunk boy)

Boy: Really, you look like your 22. What about you?

Roomie 2: 32. (a lie)

Roomie 1: I know. It's amazing how well we age.

Boy: So are you guys in college?

Roomie 2: (Laughing mockingly) "No, were much too old for college."

Roomie 1: Yeah, we just graduated law school. (trying to be intimidating and unapproachability)

Boy: (undeterred) So do you have boyfriends?

Roomie 2: Yes, we both do. It's very serious. They're on their way, in fact.

Roomie 1: yes. (Pretends to get text from imaginary boyfriend.) Hey, he's parking now.

Boy to Rommie 2: She seems to be trying to avoid me. Do you really have boyfriends or are you just trying to blow me off?

Roomie 1: (thinking to herself) either way, pal, this doesn't look good for you.

Roomie 2: We wouldn't lie. We really have boyfriends. They should have been here an hour ago.

Boy: You deserve to be treated better than that...(stumbles forward)...I would never leave you alone at a bar.

Roomie 2: Yeah. well. They are douchey boyfriends but we really really love them. they buy us things.

Boy: oh.

Roomie 1: Ok we are going to get a drink. Bye.

Boy. (sad face) (stumble) bye