Roomie 1: See, i'm not actually losing any weight because however many calories i burn while biking, i end up eating later that day! Like, "Awesome! I just burned 2500 calories! I can eat 5 boxes of donuts! yes!"
Roomie 2 Dad: You are a vegan. What can you eat to get that many calories?
Roomie 1: Rice cakes with peanut butter, apples with peanut butter, big spoons of peanut butter...dip the knife in peanut butter and then roll it in cereal...
Roomie 2: Fried peanut butter, peanut butter on toast, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and bananas, peanut butter smoothies...
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
i think you are an overeater
Friend: I did the three mile run. then came home and ate cake. and tonight i had some fruit tart.
Roomie 1: MmM. I ate like 1500 calories and then had to go for a bike ride because it was only 11 am. I came home intent not to eat anymore but then i had a burrito. and cereal. and soy ice cream. I'm a fat fucking cow.
Friend: together with me! yay! When I get kicked out of Mr. Attorney's for being too fat maybe we can sit around together eating!
Roomie 1: YES!
Roomie 1: MmM. I ate like 1500 calories and then had to go for a bike ride because it was only 11 am. I came home intent not to eat anymore but then i had a burrito. and cereal. and soy ice cream. I'm a fat fucking cow.
Friend: together with me! yay! When I get kicked out of Mr. Attorney's for being too fat maybe we can sit around together eating!
Roomie 1: YES!
yes, it is weird
Friend: is it weird that I want to have my knee and lower thigh encapsulated in cold jello while sitting in a zero gravity chair? And I'd like to have boots on. Or maybe my feet in a paraffin dip.
sexy bones
guy on facebook: take back the cupcake comment and i'll go back to worshipping your collar bones.
when you can't get them to love you, roofie them!
Sister: How is kbear and you going?
Roomie 1: kbear and I are good friends. He is one of my fave people here (duh).
Sister: yeah, i know you are good friends. I MEANT have you made him fall in love with you yet?
Roomie 1: OH. No. Shockingly, he hasn't fallen in love with me yet. I clearly have a huge flaw that I've overlooked all these years. I'm going to roofie him next time though so i'll let you know how that works out.
Roomie 1: kbear and I are good friends. He is one of my fave people here (duh).
Sister: yeah, i know you are good friends. I MEANT have you made him fall in love with you yet?
Roomie 1: OH. No. Shockingly, he hasn't fallen in love with me yet. I clearly have a huge flaw that I've overlooked all these years. I'm going to roofie him next time though so i'll let you know how that works out.
but it isn't my birthday!
Roomie 1: Hey dad's birthday is next week right? I think it is but i'm really paranoid about being the retarded kid who sends a birthday card when it isn't actually someone's birthday.
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