Roomie 1: I'm so depressed! I"ve just discovered my boobs are Cs not Bs

Roomie 2: So...they are the exact same boobs you had and loved yesterday. Only now you aren't delusional by thinking they are Bs.

Roomie 1: No! Yesterday I loved them because they were Bs. Now they are too big because they are Cs.

Roomie 2: They are the exact same boobs you had yesterday!

Roomie 1: I know i sound crazy...but yesterday it was ok to love them because they were Bs. I need a boob reduction now.

Roomie 2: Arrgh!

take two advil

Roomie 1: I think I'm getting better!

Roomie 2: You are turning purple...

You're going to what to work?

Roomie 1: I think I'm going to apply to work at that PD's office

Roomie 2: But it is over an hour away!

Roomie 1: Yeah but I can carpool with sarah so it won't be too bad...

Roomie 2: Yeah, I guess that wouldn't be too bad for a while...

Roomie 1: Yeah. Bike to work day is going to be a bitch though.

communication difficulties

Roomie 1's Mom: Just call me on your brother's cell when you land

Roomie 1: I dont think I have his number anymore

Roomie 1's mom: It is real easy. If you know your father's number you know your brothers. Your father's number is 0925 and your brother's is 0926.

Roomie 1: So...his cell is exactly the same as Dad's except for the last number?

Roomie 1's Mom: No. The area code is different and the first three numbers are different...

Roomie 1: So I still don't know his number then.

Roomie 1's Mom: *sigh*. Fine. I'll email the number to you.

Judge: Do you know what the most famous picture of George Washington is?

Roomie 1: Him chopping down a cherry tree?

I'm made of sugar too!

Boss: HA! It is going to get nice and cool just in time for you to leave and then it will heat up right when you get back. HA. That will teach you to take a vacation.

Roomie 1: Aha! It proves it! I AM a ray of sunshine! When i leave, the world gets a little colder.

Instant Messaging

Roomie 1: Update your blog!

Roomie 2: No.

Roomie 1: MIRA SOMETHING GUERTIN! Update your blog!

Roomie 2: It's Cathleen