Roomie: Most embarassing visit to the vet. Apparently my dog had a vairy painful long lasting erection. And the puss? That was shmegma. I am so SO scarred for life. That was the most horrible looking penis I have ever seen. And I went through all this because he had morning wood. WTF.
SJ: That is the funniest fucking thing (excpet that it hurt the poor pup) I have ever heard! Shmegma! Hahahaha.
Roomie: Psh! Poor pup my ass! He had morning wood! I took the day off of work for canine morning wood!!! WTF am I supposed to tell people at work?!? "Oh yeah, my dog is fine. It was just a monster erection. Thanks for asking!"
SJ: Did the vet even crack a smile when he told you? I can't think of a better excuse...."My dog had wood for longer than 4 hours. he was in pain."
Roomie: Oh the vet told me this is why Jewish men like him get circumsized. (great. Now i'm thinking about HIS penis). So there isn't any shmegma. There were also a few ED jokes but I was too traumatized by discussing both a dog penis AND the geriatric Jewish vet's penis.
SJ: Geezus. What a Monday! Dog Penis, Jewish cirsumcision, shmegma...and you had to pay for it! What was the damage?
Roomie: Only 69. They felt bad they couldn't give me a better answer than "erection" so they only charged for an office visit.
SJ: Well that is good. at least they didn't rape you.
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