sorry to hear you have ebola

friend: my eyes have been watering for no apparent reason for a little while and i keep reaching up to make sure there isn't blood seeping out of my eyes Ebola style. Because that's how the media has made me view swine flu-- Ebola esque.

roomie: hahaha. don't eye bleed please. i won't be your friend when that happens. i'll still talk to you on the phone but not in public.

friend: well i'm pretty sure you die shortly after the eye bleeding starts. that's how it goes in movies.

roomie: thanks god. I won't feel like a bad friend then.

friend: well at least you'll feel better.

roomie: yea. oh. i mean, except for the crushing despair at losing you...