Friend: He just told me I have a bad attitude when he calls.
Roomie: Take a picture of your middle finger and send it to him.
Friend: I love you. Seriously. I do. If you were a hot, wealthy dude, I would absolutely marry you.
Roomie: And if I were a hot wealthy dude I would gladly have you as my trophy wife.
Friend: Solid. I'm so glad we're friends.
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