DC calls back....
DC:  Roomie, as my lawyer, can I stab someone with my umbrella? 
Roomie:  Um, I am not giving you any advice as your lawyer.  Don't stab anyone.
DC:  I am in a bad part of town.  I need a weapon.
Roomie:  If you are being attacked you can use an umbrella to defend yourself.  But I give you this advice as your friend.  Not as your lawyer.  I am not your lawyer.  I am not giving legal advice.
DC:  So...AS my lawyer....can i stab someone with my umbrella?
Roomie:  No.
DC:  I am lost.  Where the fuck is the metro???
DC:  (Yells to someone on street)  stay away! I have an umbrella!
Roomie:  DC.  Call a cab. Immediately.  Do NOT stab anyone with your umbrella.
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