Life Rehab. Be there.

Friend: I think I'm suffering from exhaustion. I must be a celebrity and not know it yet.

Roomie: You ARE a celebrity.

Friend: Ah, yes. I forgot.

Roomie: You and I should go to rehab and recover from our exhausting lives.

Friend: Life rehab. Haha.

Roomie: We should start a celebrity life rehab place. We can get lilo and brit brit for sure. Maybe Madonna but only because i want to hang with her and not because she needs rehab.

Friend: Some people can't handle alcohol, drugs, sex, etc. We just can't handle life in general. They'll Probably put us down.

Friend: Maybe we will stage an intervention for madge, tell her its for her own protection, and then we can have her cryogenically frozen until there's a cure for death, that most fatal of all diseases.

Roomie: Yes! Brilliant! We can tell her we have a baby for her in Malawi in order to lure her to our secret lair...uh...i mean rehab facility.

Friend: YESSSSSS.

Friend: (imagining how the kidnapping of madonna would go)....

Us: "Come her madonn -- I mean, esther...there's an attractive malawian toddler with a questionable orphan status at this adoption center.You MUST come save her!" ...

(madonna) "this doesn't look like an adoption center....i always get my questionably orphaned malawians from the actual country...WHAT is that ominous looking tube???"

(us) "Oh that? no big deal, just a body scan to make sure you don't have any diseases that might kill the children off....the mexicans and indians are very upset they didn't have this back in conquistador days...could've saved a lot of lives. You wouldn't want to hurt the children would you?"

(madonna) "oh no, Never. So I just step into the tube?"

(us) "yep."

(madonna) "HEY! WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHAT IS THIS!!!! IT'S S-S-S-S-O C-C-C-CCOLD!!!"

(us) "Jack! haha!"

(Madonna) "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!"

(us) "Madge, suck it up and stop trying to fight with your man muscles. We're doing this for your own good."