How DID this happen??

Roomie: My boss told me that his wife left him... and I was like...i don't know what to say...
what do you say when you are having lunch and your ex boss is like "well...i have some news...my wife and i are separated."

Roomie: um...sorry?

Roomie:i hope...the divorce isn't ugly?

Friend: "i'm sorry to hear that."

Friend:"is there anything i can do, besides blowing/fucking you, to help?"

Roomie: LOL right? because i didn't want to say "let me know if there is anything I can do.." because i didn't want to actually do anything for him!

Friend:right, i think that's where you just say, i'm sorry to hear that. and then MAYBE say if he needs to talk you can listen.

Friend: but that opens the shoulder to cry on door, and shoulders are close to breasts, and then suddenly you're fucking and you're like, "how did this happen?"