You are an idiot. With a drinking problem.

Roomie finds facebook message sent a year ago and forwarded it to DC:

"hi ex-cop!!! this is sephie...we met a while back at your place nad i borrowed your slippers. thanks! so i'm drunk. obv. anyway you are awesome and i wish you were here because the people here are llame and think they need to sleep to ski. muthafuckas. so we need to party. Hot Guy says he thinks you are mad at him. that is sad. he is a good guy and likes your frienship and i shouldn't get involved because i'm just another friend. anwyay i hope you make amends with Hot Guy because he really misses you. He didn't meant to do you wrong. Just talk to him, please. sorry we (I) called you at like early am. I really think you are awesome and i hope we all can get together and make love. brown chick a brown cow. awesome. hah. i'm obv. kidding. so the point of this rambling message is that i wanted to say heeeey and we need to get together so call me. or chris. prob. chris bc you have his number. see you soon! Roomie (aka sephie but not like syphylis cuz i'm totally clean) "

DC: brown chick a brown cow? lol awesome.

Roomie: I'm totally clean? we should make love? OMG this is BAD

Roomie: WHAT WAS I THINKING???

DC: Clearly you were having a good time.

Roomie: in my defense that was the night that hot guy and i both got alcohol poisoning in tahoe and i was trying to hold him down bc he was shaking so violently

Roomie: that doesn't sound like a good defense actually. i think that makes it worse...