Friend: chances are high that i totally fucked up on a trial that i did not expect to go on thursday but that apparently is now on. awesome. i'll tell you about it later tonight. i miss you! come here and be a PD
Roomie: can i come be a DA instead? Or a contracts specialist? Something that doesn't involve trials....
Friend: then we can conflict out of like all of our trials. "sorry, your honor. i have a conflict." "ms. District Attorney, wtf is your conflict?" "i love the defense atty." "like in a lesbian way?" "eew, no. she's my bfff." "what's the extra f for?" "fucking. haven't you seen pineapple express your honor?" "no. if you two pull this shit again i'm holding you both in contempt." "will you give us work release? because if the answer is no... we have another trial scheduled later this month..." "why doesn't one of you withdraw?" "because otherwise they don't pay us to call each other."
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